Multnomah Falls, Oregon

Multnomah Falls, Oregon

Friday, July 9, 2010

Korean Criticism

I haven't had to deal with this so much lately, but when SJ was young it was TERRIBLE- strangers were always telling me he was cold and wasn't dressed properly, or that I should have a plastic cover for my stroller because the wind was bad for him, etc. I saw a woman in Chicago in Feb. with a plastic cover over her stroller and I was like, I just can't escape (she was obviously Korean....)!

I took SJ on the subway in his stroller today. I parked the stroller in front of the doors that don't open, except at a few RARE stations. I set the brake, and one wheel is parked against the wall- it's a safe place, and I've seen other ppl park their strollers there. I sat next to him. At one of the rare stations where the doors happen to open on SJ's side, a woman came on and started exclaiming that it wasn't safe for him to be parked there. I seriously wanted to smack her, because I NEVER see ppl make comments to Korean women (mothers) admonishing them. I don't know why they think it's ok to criticize me. I've been with other friends and seen the same, so it's not just me, but I don't think it's fair that they think they've got the market covered on good mothering and eveyone else (i.e. foreign) is just wrong- GRRRRRRRRR! It makes me SOOOOOO upset. Granted, unless it's done in an indirect, polite way, I'm not good at handling criticism (along with most others, I'd figure- I can really do without the exclaiming).

Well, I told them that he was fine, and that the doors opened on the other side. I said it in English, because my husband advised me ppl won't continue to argue with me if I speak in English since they will be intimidated (it's been good advice ^~). They were staring, so I said, "What?!" The woman looks at the other woman and says that she can't speak English. Thus, I effectively shut them down. GOD I need to get a car, since I swear most ppl bug me on public transport.

I've never had anyone say anything positive to me, and I'm a good mom, so when ppl are critical, I want to go bat shiz crazy. I feed him soy milk and other healthy snacks. I see Korean moms give their kids packaged crap, but they don't get cricticized. There was a little boy eating french fries at the hospital the other day (SJ was there for a vaccination), and if it was SJ, I'm sure ppl would tell me, "Don't you know it's bad to give your kid french fries?" I really, really want to know why everyone here thinks it's ok to give me their (unsolicated) child care advice. Do they think I'd appreciate it? Do they really think I don't have a clue what I'm doing after 42 months of caring for my son? Arrrgh! I don't know if I can hack it here for the long run. Maybe things will get better if I get a car. I don't know. I just really want people to stay the fuck out of my business and respect that other cultures have a different way of doing things (which is a pipe dream, because Koreans don't mind their own business). Just because it's not the Korean way doesn't mean it's wrong or bad. Fuck-I learned that back in a Women in World Cultures class in uni., but I guess people don't have that kind of education here.